Chavvus-Inbredicus - The West-Cundry Chav The West-Cundry Chav has the unenviable task of making his voice heard in the world of chavs. Perhaps the weakest breed of Chav, it is uncommon for the West-Cundry Chav to ever leave the county. This type of Chav has been weakened by in-breeding and all the inherent problems this mating behaviour precipitates. How to spot a West-Cundry Chav Sighting Locations Summersat Bristol (if feeling particularly adventurous) Ethnic Group White Clothing Head Baseball cap is the most common form of attire. However, as Burberry is an unknown quantity in these parts, Logo'd caps are the norm. Don't be shocked if you see a 'rat's tail' at the back of this creatures head, that's how things are done around here. Torso Non - designer or fake polo shirt. Non - designer or fake Shell suit top. No jacket ever worn, even in extreme cold. This breed of Chav has been known to freeze to death with alarmng regularity. Legs Non - designer or fake Shell suit bottoms. Given lack of jacket, it is not surprising to find the West-Cundry Chav's personal effects all stuffed in trouser pockets, creating a bulge the width of a small child on either hip. Both legs tucked into socks (See below) Feet Bargain socks normally worn. Being less style conscious and solvent than their northerly cousins, these creatures have little or no shame when it comes to wearing less fashionable names, Gola socks are not uncommon. The West-Cundry Chav wears rather scruffy trainers, much to the shame of the other Chavs in Britain. Due to there not being proper roads in West-Cundry, the reebok classics fare badly. These are upgraded yearly, rather than the standard Chavvish rota of one upgrade per month. Behaviour Body Language These Chavs barely move, as they try to conserve what little strength they have by leaning against a Bus Stop until dusk. They then amble back over unmapped terrain to whatever hive they live in. They appear mostly non-threatening, although lack of food and warmth can make them jerk unexpectedlty. They often sport a nervous twitch. Social Skills The West-Cundry Chavs have a telepathic understanding. This is perhaps due to their genetic closeness; it is not unknown for two West-Cundry Chavs from rival broods to be genetically identical. They may accost a non-local by mocking them in as inaudible a fashion as possible. Likely to run away when approached. Dialect Unknown. Although there are those who believe that a primative version of English is employed, this is as yet unproven. It has been know for the brightest example of this species of Chav to have an 80-word vocabulary. Known to utter 'Aaaalroight Maite' at seemingly random intervals. Combat Skill The West-Cundry Chav is normally too weak to issue any kind of attack upon a person. However, with there being an average of 34 Chavs per litter, they are perhaps the most prolific breeders. This gives the West-Cundry Chav a massive numerical advantage, which they are to need whan fleecing senior citizens. West-Cundry Chavs are no challenge on a one-to-one basis. Transportation Bus (daily service to Taunton), Tractor, Cow. Cars are also found in the area, perhaps abandoned by people from elsewhere. The cars tend to be older and less upgraded than the norm for a Chav. hatchbacks are the order of the day in these parts, with the only vehicles longer than 10 feet being Combine Harvesters. Likes Any dance Music which was famous in London over 5 years ago, Eminem. Rat's tails (See above), Vandalising, Incest, Farmyard Animals. Dislikes The Welsh, anyone living on a higher longitudal plane than themselves, Ethnic Minorities. Summary The West-Cundry Chav is an absolutely pathetic creature. If it was forced to endure the lights of a big city it would last only a few days. If not for their prolific breeding cycles, extinction would be inevitable. The most benign form of chav in existance, except if in their Nova, when they can become quite dangerous. Avoid them if behind the wheel of any vehicle, otherwise feel free to mock them. Fed up of trawling this site for non-existent updates? e-mail me, subject 'join', to join the Chavspotting Mail list. you will then receive an email when any updates occur (if ever).