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Chavspotting - Your one-stop guide to the world of the Chav
Have you ever wondered quite what possesses a fellow human being to turn Chav? this guide aims to explain the behaviour of
the Chav, so that we may better understand them.
Planning to go to a new town, either for holidays or permanently? before you embark it is important you equip yourself with
local Chav knowledge. This guide may save you from abject humiliation, minor injury or loss of belongings. Check out this definition, it could prove invaluable.
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News update!!!
Hello, yes, I know it's beeen a while, etc. etc. I must confess I have been spending a lot of time doing other things, but find myself back here to deliver a timely update. I have been working on another website. You see, people often abuse me for only disliking and mocking Chavs, but in actual fact, I dislike most things. Check out my blog below if you don't believe me.
It is a blog which I intend to update a lot more regularly, I hope you like it.
News update!!!
I have found the mecca of shit cars. see it here. I have found the mecca of ugly Chav bitches. see it here.
News update!!!
Channel Five are looking for annoying Chav-esque teens to appear on their programme. Do you know someone like this, or maybe it's you? Then please read the email I received below.
NEW TV SHOW - ARE YOU A REBELLIOUS TEEN?
Five are making a programme about the cheekiest, loudest, most disobedient
teenagers in the UK.
Do you constantly clash with your mum or dad?
Is your room a disgusting heap of clothes and stale plates?
Do you spend all your parents’ money on clothes, trainers and jewellery?
Are you a cross between Johnny Rotten and Kevin the teenager?
Are you the real life Vicky Pollard?
We want strong willed teens with big personalities. If this sounds like you
or someone you know then please get in touch!
EMAIL: gemma.chapman@mentorn.tv OR CALL: 020 7258 6807
News update!!!
I have found the mecca of shit cars. see it here. I have found the mecca of ugly Chav bitches. see it here.
News update!!!
Sorry, I've been busy. Chavspotting is 1 year old! read about it here. Hope you enjoy it. In other 'news', it's time for an update on the old emails section, including another lovely Ned-centered email from Ross. Read all about it here. More emails will be added when I have the time to read them :)
News update!!!
"Oi, you bellend, where did all these adverts come from?" You may have noticed that I stuck a couple of ads on each page of this site; not for megalomaniacal purposes, but because buying bandwidth is costing about £40 per week (nearly as much as a Chav's supplementary income) at the moment. In order for me to not have to remortgage my house, I am asking you, the reader, to do 2 things for me.
1) click on the ads, if you see anything you like. This will generate a tiny piece of income for me, which I will use to purchase bandwidth.
2) Use the Google search bar at the top of the page. It works just as well as normal google, except it is orange, and will also help me to keep this site running, ta very much!
News update!!!
I have received some brilliant emails on aspects of chav life the country over. Check them out
here. well, they made me chuckle.
News update!!!
The Chavs programme aired yesterday night. Here is my reaction to the show.
The message board amazingly had more than 1 visitor yesterday, so you may want to check it out here. It's not too late to join the Julie Burchill Fanclub.
News update!!!
Hot on the heels of the last update, it seems that the 'Soup A Nova' game has been getting some traffic on the various car modding websites. Here are the links to some of the best...
Sussexcarz.com
Xrtwo.com
Miniresource.com
Axownersclub.com
Novaload.net
Corsasport.co.uk
Rs2004x4.com
fiestaturbo.com
Enjoy.
News update!!!
I received this rather wonderful email from a chap named Sam Clegget, who has been pretty busy with the 'Pimp My Chav' game. He has even sent me an image of his pimped-up Chav, which I will share with you all here.
This also gives me an idea - if anyone else wants to show their pimped-up chav, or indeed chavmobile, I will create a nice page especially for it. So get sending, or not, as is the likely case.
the easiest way to get a picture of your chav is to:
1) dress him appropriately, then press the 'Print Screen' key on your keyboard, which is usually located next to F12.
2) Open up MS paint (Start/Programs/Accessories/Paint), and press Control and V (paste).
3) you should now see a copy of the screen. Use the select tool (looks like a rectangle with broken lines) to highlight the chav.
4) now press Control and X (cut), then Control and V (paste). Now save your new image, (as a .bmp or .jpg) and attach it to an email, and hey presto!! you have just lost 5 minutes of your life which you will never get back!
now get sending, people!
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Cheam 17 - The no. 1 Chav tribute act in the UK
Get your headphones at the ready for the lyrical wordsmiths known as Cheam 17. Based in Surrey, this hard-hitting SubUrban act pulls no punches, layin' criss beats over incisive political statements, all delivered in a package of mis-timed mumblings.
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Click on the links below to sample their musical greatness. Files are around the 2-meg mark so if you is on da slow 56k you'd better be patient. Any Synching problems should be fixed by pressing the 'refresh' button, A.K.A F5.
Cheam 17 - "Shit But You Don't Know It" (mockney twat The Streets tribute track)
The Chavspotting Message Board!!
This contains a marvellous message board, courtesy of the kind folks at Boards2go.
Quick! leave a message!
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Kylie Minogue Spanking her arse!
The editor understands that it can become quite depressing viewing nothing but chavs and bad cars on this site. So without further ado we present you with this visual Kylie-fest.
Take Me To Her
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Make a stand against Chav-led consumerist capitalism
...By buying some stuff from this very website! Differentiate yourself from the dross in your neighbourhood with this quality clothing.
Let me see dat merchandise
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Fed up of trawling this site for non-existent updates? e-mail me, subject 'join', to join the Chavspotting Mail list. you will then receive an email when any updates occur (if ever).
Disclamifier: The marvellous content including all text, Images etc is Copyright Me - Me being my assumed interweb
identity which protects me from marauding gangs of Chavs. If you wish to link to my site (if you ever get that desperate)
please do so, under the provisio that you must place a picture of a mid-sized marsupal not more than two pagelengths away
from the link, excluding any websites which choose to have a fuschia background, which, being my favourite colour, will waive
all other precedents barring the copyright notice which is not subject to alterisation without a cross-hatched decodifier.
Gifts are fine under the stipulation that no gifts are the forebear, indicator of or pre-contractural agreement to sexual
intercourse. I carry pepper spray around at all times so don't fuck with me. If you feel too upset by the interweb content as
seen under the conditions seen herein upon the mitigating circumstances precluding pretext, then congratulations. If you are
too feeble to email me and complain about my site content, I hereby give you exclusive rights to carve the name 'bruce' in
your left buttock with a piece of sharpened bamboo, on the understanding that I (the party) am not responsible for any anal
injuries incured. However, if such activity was to be photographed for the purposes of medical retention then I will gladly
pass on any submitted entries to the authorities. The term 'Chav' and similar bits is probably the copyright of some bloke in
California, who named his child thus without realising what fateful repercussions such an ill-conceived move would have by
the time the child hits puberty. I use it in the knowledge thet it may also infringe the rights of a small village in
Guatemala, who produced the aforementioned article 'chav' for the U.S. Government at the rate of 10 cents per day over a
27-week period. I apologise unreservedly to any woundings caused by astonishingly weak paper houses which were sent the other
way by the government of the United States which resulted in the tragic papercuts of seven washer-women. I can see green
swirls, I must stop typing. Journo scum or unimaginative Chavs living in self-denail pouring scorn on their contemporaries or
anyone else for that matter barring Yul Brinner who is dead anyway may not take content from my website without explicit
permission, including this colourfully-embellished disclamifier which I am informed with all confidence will stand up as a
legal aftefact. Attractive lesbians wishing to submit photographs of themselves in various stages of copulation must pay a
surcharge to myself of 10 English pounds.
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