Da Fan's Page This is the page which lets you, fan or 'hater' have your say on the issues discussed on this website, or just the Chav phenomenon in general. Only the most blingin' emails get posted, y'get me. Two Fat Ladies by a secret Chav correspondent. I received this image from a particularly brave chap, who had managed to snap these identical porcine beasts in their natural habitat - on the train. amazing as it is, there is no photographic trickery at work here. These buxom babes were spotted in the Twickenham area, it is not known where their brood were when this picture was taken. It is hard to guess their age; they could well be small children rendered borderline obese by a lifetimes diet of microchips. If they are under 12, this may explain the lack of screaming kids all over the surrounding seats. These charming ladies are obviously very individual creatures; eschewing conventional fashion ideals by wearing identical clothes. Most women are none too happy about wearing the same clobber, and may not speak for several weeks as a result. So it is refreshing that there are people out there ready to snub convention with these amazing results. McChav. by somenick. There is no such beast as a McChav, however I can see that it is an easy mistake to make unless you have explored Scotland – replacing the “McChav” with “Ned” should clear up any misunderstanding. I would also install the attached. Cheers, From the desk of Somenick. http://www.somenick.2ya.com No Subject by Pirtekbabe. hiya i am not a chav or owt but me n ma m8 think chavs r wkd i hav no problem wiv them at all i think the lads chavs r fit n the lasses r pretty prob nicer then ppl that rnt chavs i was watchin tht programme about chavs the otha nite n got this website frm that i thought that wud b interestin lookin atthat c in wat otah ppl think abotu chavs n iv just been on teh message board n i hav neva sen owt liek it in ma life i dnt c ppls problem.im only 14/f/sheff but if any chavs wanna tlk 2 me or somet coz id love 2 chat 2 sum especially lads :P add me on msn xxxxxx@xxxxxx.com or u can email me that wud b wkd thx xxxxxxx The McChav Translation Dictionary by Ross. ChavSpotting, Here is a dictionary of McChav language. Wayne = young child Aye = Yes Jake/Jakey = Drunk/Homeless Person Whit = What Naw = No Gubbing = Beating e.g. You were gubbing me at the beginning of this game, now I'm winning! Decked it = Trip up over an object e.g. he tripped over the wire OR can mean sprint away ( well as fast as a ned who is hooked on dope can) Dinghied = To be ignored e.g. He dinghied me (he ignored me) Dinghy = To ignore someone Haw = Hey e.g. Haw big man come o'er here! O'er = Over (pronounced air) Manky = Disgusting Gie = Give Ma = Mum Da = Dad Yae = You Ginnae = Going to Dae = Do Aboot = About Nigel = Someone that is on their own Reject = See "Nigel" Loner = "See "Nigel" NNP = Nigel No Pals Pal = Friend (this has become less popular since a new meaning of it became fashionable amognst the "neds" (McChavs)) PAL = Personal Arse Licker (told you it became less popular with the new meaning) Gimp = General insult Ross McChav North-east Chavs by Phil Storey. Only just discovered your site today and I have to say that it is the best comedy site on the net; the main reason being because it's ALL true!! Being a student and living in my home town of Newcastle (that's right, the chavviest football team in the world, but Bellamy has gone so things are looking up for us!),just thought I'd like to mention the north-east chavs, known affectionately as CHARVAS or RADGIES. Keeping to the same trend as the rest of the British Isles, they are a burden on society and the lowest of the low. They are most often seen wandering around the bus stations of the area, harrassing passers by with propositions such as "Giz fifty pence so me bruvva can get the bus hyem or a'll poond ya face in". Yes thats right, I'm a geordie and even I don't have a clue what the hell they're ranting on about! Of course, most of them are soft as shit so if any trouble did ever occur a normal person would stand a pretty good chance of sending the c**ts into casualty! The attire of choice for the Charva would have to be some kind of baseball cap (usually burberry, surprise surprise!), a hooped striped sweatshirt (usually navy and white, and Fred Perry and Henry Lloyd seem to be the chosen brands) with an expensive brightly coloured hiking jacket on top, usually made by Berghaus (Christ knows how they afford these, so we must assume that they have been taken somehow 'off the back of a lorry'!). Charvas vary their choice of trousers. Some stick to tradition and wear 'tracky' bottoms usually by some sports manufacturer, or £stretcher's very own 2 stripe brand, which is very stylish! However, some have taken to skinny-legged jeans, which are worn tucked into their white socks. As for footwear, Reebok Classics and Nike Air Max have been overtaken in populrity by ludicrously expensive Rockport boots, or 'Rockies' as our low-IQ peers call them. At upwards of £150 a pop, you have to assume that there is some kind of benefit fraud going on! Either that or... errm... apart from actually stealing them, err... thats all i can think of!! Anyway, just a brief insight into the north-east chavs. Won't someone please just get rid of them?!! The only thing worth having them around for is comedy value! from Phil, a normal geordie McChavs by Ross. I must disagree with your description of a "McChav" I live in Glasgow/ Lanarkshire area. So I know! You have managed to describe a streyotypical Scottish chav (what you call chavs we call "neds" ) The typical Ned wears tracksuit bottoms (usually addias , or such other sporting brand) They wear a t-shirt which usually is another designer brand e.g. Ben Sherman (probably fake) and a fleece/tracksuit top thing which usually has pointless scrawls on that nobody can read. (another variation is the Tracksuit Nylon Top again by addias.) Neds in Scotland don't tend to where baseball caps or other sorts. They are however NEVER SEEN WITHOUT A JACKET ON. In my area the latest fashion seems to be "Hiking" jackets. These are brands like Berghaus and Peter Storm. These come in fluorescent colour combinations such as blue and yellow and on "Nedlettes" (female Neds) Red and yellow. These are so bright that you wouldn't miss them if you were blind. Shoes on neds tend to be K Swiss or Lacoste or Addias. These are always invariably white with black or occasionally red stripes. Neds always wear soverigns rings. Nedlettes have pretty much the same dress "sense". Except they wear much more bling, about 4-5 necklaces at least 2 name rings and 3 bangles (a lot of these tend to have the owner's names on them) I think it might be in case they forget their own name. Ears must have at least 2 solid gold weights, sorry earrings hanging from them. These are massive house shaped things. I swear you can hear a Nedlette coming from a mile away because of the amount of jangling. Hope this has been helpful, Ross McChav P.s. not my real name Cheers for the info, Mr. McChav - maybe we're distant relatives? I must admit I have only been to Glasgow on a handful of occasions, and bow down to your superior knowledge on this front. Check out Glasgow Survival for all the Ned info you will ever need. Chavs by Anon. i think ur the biggest prick around ur just a fucking fool !!!!!!!!!!!!! No Subject by Simon Longson. Dude, Just saw the SKY ONE show and it ruled. They are complete TWATS and even admit to it. LMAO. How else to put chavs down than to make themselves looks like Pricks on tv. Loved everything you said cause 100% true and to the point. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!! Chav by Steve. me n ma m8z r glad were chavs we dnt care wot ppl fnk ov us mistake I noticed by Eamon Keane. Just a heads-up about the grammar mistake on the front page of the site. It's L.E.D.s, not L.E.D.'s! Stands for(as you probably know-assuming you're not a chav) light emitting diodes, no apostrophe needed. Thanks for the great site! West Cundry Chavs by Anne Marie Greenslade You cannot mention these creatures without talking about the chavviest, crappiest town of them all - Bridgwater (that's Bridgwadder in West Cundry Chav-speak) There's also Yeovil, but not quite as bad. Not recommending you visit, but it does have to be seen to be believed. Early Chavs originating from here long before the term Chav ever coined. Also don't forget the assymmetrical faces with the vacant stare (sure sign of inbreeding). Vacant stare greatly exaggerated when pretty (non-Chavette) girl in the vicinity. They do actually have a gait to speak of - that of the spindly upper arms held slightly aloft, with lower arms hanging down, (fag in one hand mandatory) and a kind of bounce in the step in an attempt - one can only assume - to make them look slightly taller. Hair: WC Chavs also very fond of the 'undercut' with wet look gel drenched over the uppercut (lanky early-90's style curtains look) Chavettes pretty much the same as any other - pineapple wet-look perm hairdo a must, as is tide-lined two-shades-too-dark foundation. Uniform: as many sickly colours as possible in one outfit - maximum amount of non-coordination essential. Much gold jewellery, prob from Argos or Taunton Market. W.C. Chav activities: parking in 'the hills' (many to be found in the Bridgwadder region) invariably leading to reproduction of little Chavs and Chavettes (named Darren Jnr and Fiesta Xr2i - after the place of conception) and hanging around one of the town centre high streets. Skateboard optional for younger Chavs. 'Cruising' up and down town centre streets in crappy, modified cars with windows down and (hot) stereo up is a favourite pasttime for 17+ Chavs. One Chav of mid-90s Taunton to be spotted frequently in yellow van doing just this. Music: anything with a heavy bass (have heard one Bridgwadder Chav actualy admit they would enjoy hearing this noise alone) Incapable of dancing, but they do enjoy looking at the pretty lights in the local sticky-floored 'nightclubs' (further increase of vacant stare). Remember, all Chavs are found in town centres, which Somerset does have a small amount of. No self-respecting Chav (excuse the oxymoron) would admit to actually living in the country, even when they're from Bridgwadder. Regards, A non-Chav ex-Taunton-dweller (where I know there are many Chavs, however, they are vastly eclipsed by their 9-miles-north cousins) Thanks for that, Anne Marie. I have seen Bridgwater in all its' glory, and smelt the fumes from the aesthetically-pleasing plastic factory. I also would like to nominate Minehead as another Chav breeding ground, prehaps due to a butlins being based there. 'chavs and thewre lattest sayin' by Mark Herbert hi this is greg and recently i have found that there small vocab has grown to "safe blood" or "you get me star" and in the rare case of a fight(not)"yo blood i will blot you out and give you a blood clot"i have found these findins on the dark side of birmingham (well all off it is dark) Short 'N Sweet by Char Duggan Chav n proud boi Xx Lv ya xX Want to see your own well-observed and bitingly funny critiques on here?e-mail me.